Kids Say the Darndest Things: The Logic of Dalton

That Diddle-bug. Funniest kid I know. Much of it unintentional, actually, but he's hysterical. When Easton draws pictures of Dalton he always draws him "with his tongue hanging out because he's so funny". It's just fact. The boy is a hoot and a half!


One day we were looking through our National Geographic Kids magazine and there was a page about pigs...and how they roll in mud. Trying to spark a little creative thinking I asked, "Why do you think pigs might like to roll in the mud?" to which he responded, "because they want to be all muddy". Well yes, but why? Goob.

Along those same lines, they have some pictures in the magazine where "one of these things is not like the other". I asked Dalton, "Which one is different?" he picked. I said, "Why is that one different?" (it was red and the others were blue) and his answer? "Because that one is not like those ones." Duh.

Leaving school one day Dalton informed me that, "Mrs. M___ and Mrs. L___ don't have any beds!"
Me: "I think they do...but they don't live at school, Dalton."
D: "Yes they do!"

He fell off a piece of playground equipment at the park the other day. He was crying and clutching his elbow and I asked,
"Awww, did you bonk your elbow?"
D: "No, I bonked everywhere."


Listening to a Weird Al Star Wars paradoy song, Al sings about how Qui-Gon Jin "met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast". This confused our literal boy and he asked how he was toast. Easton added that Obi-Wan then defeated Darth Maul even though he was young but D was still confused, "And then he got toasted?"


At dinner the other night Jason asked the boys, "Do you know where bread comes from?" and I said, "Cows!" and Jason said, "Trees!" and Dalton said, "Nooooo, Dad. It comes from the store!"

Dalton was wearing a Yoda hat the other day that has pointy ears on it. He took a call from Jason and put the phone to his Yoda ear, not his own! Easton and I 'bout died laughing. It was hysterical.


Easton tried quizzing Dalton:
E: "Dalton, what's one plus one?"
D: "Nose."

Diddles heard Lauren was feeling a little sad recently and informed me he wanted to "give her a hug to make her feel haaaaaappy and new."

And to finish this off, apparently Dalton hears the word 'diarrhea' and thinks DIE-arrhea...he was real-telling such a story and it ended with, "And then I died".