Progress

So, clearly drop off did not go well this morning. If you didn't hear that yet, see the post below. Anyhoo...Dalton and I had no plans to spy today. Their schedule makes it sound like they don't normally go to the playground till maybe half an hour before pick-up. So we came back home. Dalton hadn't had any breakfast yet and so I came home, cried, fed D, and did my earlier post. It was just harder, I think, that he was crying before I was out of earshot. The previous times he started crying as the morning went on, not at drop off.

I didn't mope the entire time however, I spent some of it praying and then Dalton said he had to go poo poo so he sat on the potty. Didn't produce anything but then he found it hilarious to waddle around with his pants around his ankles.

He's heading upstairs for a new diaper. Which he pooped in. Oh well. He's only 18 months old.

After his new diaper we read quite a few books (not something Dalton is usually too into) and did a few other things around here. Then we headed to Wal-Mart for a return. Guess who we saw in the parking lot? Our new friends K and C ("I" is in school with Easton, remember?). And their daddy too (another J) who I had just met that morning at the school. Funny! But after Wal-Mart, Easton's 2 hours was up and we headed over to get him.

We could see that the kids were heading out to the playground. Easton didn't look sad! Mrs. M even gave me a THUMBS UP! But stupid me said, "Well, it could mean that E is doing well, or it could mean that she's glad I'm there to get him." So Dalton and I parked and walked around to within earshot of the playground. No crying. So we went and talked to the secretary and I told her about the thumbs up and how I was supposed to pick him up early but she said, "If Mrs. M gave you a thumbs up I'd say he's doing well and you can get him later."

So that's what we did!

We went and made a return at the bookstore and browsed a couple other nearby stores for that remaining time. We showed up 20 minutes early, just in case E was crying again. But nothing.

So I peeked in the window at them doing their felt story and singing songs. Easton was participating! I saw him doing little hand motions to the songs.

I also took that time to check his folder and found this:


It means he did something!

He was so happy to see me and D when it was over. As Mrs. M shook his hand she said, "Your mom is going to be so proud of you. You go tell her _______" (I couldn't hear and I'm not sure he told me. Hee hee.

He came over to me and said excitedly "I was crying but I stopped and now I want to go get my new fruit snacks!" Unfortunately, stopping crying (while HUGELY impressive) is not part of the "earn a prize" deal. But I didn't address that yet. Instead I stopped by and asked the secretary to have Mrs. M call me and then we got in the car.

Easton told me that he stopped crying when it was time for apple juice and that Mrs. M told him that playing in the sandbox would help him be happy while he passed the time. That's about all I got.

So, even though he didn't earn a sticker for his chart (yet!) or a smaller prize I still wanted him to know how very proud I was of him for stopping crying and having fun. He picked going to "my park" (the little one by our house) and then going out for "my favorite ice cream". For the record, Easton didn't know that "trip to the ice cream store" could be a daily prize choice, so I'll just have to pick something else as an option to add to the new fruit snacks, Batman slippers, and Hulk jammies stash.

I took this picture before my camera batteries died:


Between the park and the ice cream store, Mrs. M called. She said, "Well, he cried for awhile." When I asked her "What's 'awhile'"? She said, "About an hour". That she could tell he's not really afraid, because sometimes he'd stop, then start again. She said, "He's very very smart and I think he thinks if he keeps crying I'll call you to come get him or something. So, it's funny, what finally did the trick was that I told him you weren't going to come get him while he was crying, that you'd come get him when he was quiet." She said that he started to get a little sad while out on the playground again but she told him that part about going to play and that would help pass the time. Mrs. L (the assistant teacher) reported that when he was in the sandbox he told her, "Time really flies when you're having fun." Not sure what show that one's from. But they found it amusing.

Mrs. M said that at another point he was making crying sounds again and she asked him about it and he said, "I'm not crying. I'm laughing" and forced a big fake laugh. He's known for that as well, the goob.

She said that when he's not crying he's enjoying himself and having fun. Which was good to hear. She promised that if she thought he was too much of a distraction, wasn't going to improve or simply needed to wait a year then she'd let me know. But she said right now she didn't feel that from Easton. She did say that she expected him to continue to cry for awhile but that no way will she call me to get him early and let him win. She didn't say the "let him win" part but it was implied. And I really appreciate that, actually. That she's not giving up on him. That he's not too much to handle.

I said I felt bad for him, and the teachers and the other kids...who were apparently plugging their ears.

Well, while it still is hard, I see this as progress. Doesn't mean he won't take some steps back...I mean, remember how well he did his first day? But he didn't cry for 3 hours straight or anything. And that's good. Great even.

So, I feel both kinda foolish yet touched...so many of you have commented and sent extra emails our way. I really appreciate them all. I love having all these people praying or at least rooting for us. We plan to keep Easton in school. Sometimes life is hard and you have to do things you don't want to do, right? If Mrs. M thinks he's not ready at some point, well, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. But we're not going to pull him out on our own accord.

I'm not surprised that it's going the way it is. It makes me sad, but I'm not surprised.

That is probably the #1 reason we put Easton in school: to learn to separate from me. We can't go to church (even if we had one) but we certainly can't take him along to a new place week to week to find one together. I feel this is an important step in his becoming a little independent person. And choosing the short 3 hour program just 2 days a week is the smallest of the baby steps we could do. Sure the benefits of him learning stuff and socializing is good too, but the biggest reason was that Jason and I feel Easton needs this. We knew it would be hard on him. But we believe the end results will be a good thing. Plus, I'm really looking forward to the me and D time. We start our AussieRoo class together on Thursday.

I really truly believe Easton will eventually come around. The parts that are hardest for me are thinking that even if he comes around to not crying, that he might have gotten started off on the wrong foot in general and will now hate "school" for life or something. Or that we chose the wrong type of school for him. Or that his excessive and repeated crying is going to turn all his classmates against him for when he does come around.

And I promise I believe he will. I just don't know when and that's the part that is going to continue to be hard and rip my heart out each time I hear him wailing from the hallway.